A Talk With God...on Meth-Bryan

Soft White Underbelly

Soft White Underbelly

21 min, 25 sec

A person expresses confusion and distress about their faith and experiences.

Summary

  • The speaker shares a traumatic experience involving sexual assault.
  • They question God's intentions and presence in life, feeling toyed with in their faith and suffering.
  • The individual recounts past incidents of physical harm and spiritual encounters.
  • They challenge the adherence to the Ten Commandments and express a desire for a monogamous relationship with God.
  • The speaker struggles with the concept of death and pleads for an end to suffering and evil.

Chapter 1

Confusion and Plea for Understanding

0:01 - 38 sec

The speaker begins by expressing confusion about traumatic experiences and questioning why they can't see God.

The speaker begins by expressing confusion about traumatic experiences and questioning why they can't see God.

  • The speaker has been to Heaven and Hell and feels God is tampering with their faith.
  • They describe being sexually assaulted while asleep and feeling forced to accept God's presence in that context.
  • The speaker is pained to acknowledge God's role in their suffering.

Chapter 2

Recollections of Assault and Betrayal

0:39 - 29 sec

The individual recalls a specific incident of sexual assault and struggles with the betrayal of faith.

The individual recalls a specific incident of sexual assault and struggles with the betrayal of faith.

  • They remember being held down and assaulted by two men after losing consciousness.
  • The speaker associates this event with a betrayal of their Christian values and monogamy.
  • They are in disbelief that God would allow such an incident to happen.

Chapter 3

Questions About God's Will and Commands

1:07 - 50 sec

The speaker continues to question divine intent, reflecting on personal suffering and God's commandments.

The speaker continues to question divine intent, reflecting on personal suffering and God's commandments.

  • They struggle to reconcile their faith with the pain they've experienced.
  • The speaker doubts the authenticity of their spiritual encounters, suspecting demonic influence.
  • They challenge the validity of the Ten Commandments in light of their experiences.

Chapter 4

Desperation for Truth and Deliverance

1:57 - 57 sec

Amidst their turmoil, the speaker pleads for truth and deliverance from their suffering.

Amidst their turmoil, the speaker pleads for truth and deliverance from their suffering.

  • The individual desperately seeks to understand the true nature of their encounters.
  • They plead for their suffering to stop and question the morality of the divine influence they've felt.
  • The speaker expresses a deep connection to Christianity but feels tormented by the lack of clarity.

Chapter 5

Reflections on Life, Death, and Divine Interference

2:55 - 1 min, 3 sec

The person reflects on past near-death experiences and current spiritual interference.

The person reflects on past near-death experiences and current spiritual interference.

  • The speaker recounts being shot, having their neck broken, and hearing entities fight over them.
  • They feel that God is not taking their situation seriously and is instead playing with them.
  • The individual asserts that God's actions are in conflict with the teachings of the Bible.

Chapter 6

Demanding Accountability and Respect for Personal Boundaries

3:57 - 1 min, 0 sec

The speaker demands accountability from God and respect for their boundaries.

The speaker demands accountability from God and respect for their boundaries.

  • They insist on a monogamous relationship with God, rejecting the idea of a forced threesome.
  • The speaker feels violated by the unexpected sexual encounters, which contradict their interpretation of the Bible.
  • They call for transparency and respect from any spiritual presence.

Chapter 7

Assertion of Faith and Identity Amidst Spiritual Turmoil

4:57 - 55 sec

The individual asserts their faith and identity while grappling with spiritual turmoil.

The individual asserts their faith and identity while grappling with spiritual turmoil.

  • The speaker expresses their devotion to God but is bewildered by the challenges they face.
  • They identify themselves as Emanuel, a name given by God, and seek to reconcile this identity with their experiences.
  • The individual is adamant about their goodness and desire for a pure connection with God.

Chapter 8

Cry for Mercy and Rejection of Suffering

5:53 - 1 min, 0 sec

The speaker cries out for mercy and rejects the suffering imposed on them.

The speaker cries out for mercy and rejects the suffering imposed on them.

  • They plead for an end to the hurt inflicted on them and their loved ones, including their pet.
  • The individual asserts that God should not play with their emotions and cause physical harm.
  • They demand a loving, monogamous relationship with God, free from pain and suffering.

Chapter 9

Rejection of Death and Embrace of Life

6:53 - 56 sec

The speaker rejects the concept of death and embraces the sanctity of life.

The speaker rejects the concept of death and embraces the sanctity of life.

  • They express love for life and disdain for death, viewing it as a negative force.
  • The individual argues that death should not be a part of their reality or anyone else's.
  • They maintain that they haven't committed any sins to warrant the suffering they've endured.

Chapter 10

Defiance and Declaration of Love for God

7:48 - 55 sec

The person defies the notion of being tested by God and declares their love for the divine.

The person defies the notion of being tested by God and declares their love for the divine.

  • They feel they have been tested unfairly and have proven their faithfulness and goodness.
  • The speaker proclaims love for God but struggles to understand the divine plan for them.
  • They insist on a just and loving relationship with God, free from manipulation and hurt.

Chapter 11

Final Plea for Clarity and Divine Justice

8:43 - 1 min, 15 sec

In a final plea, the speaker seeks clarity and justice from the divine.

In a final plea, the speaker seeks clarity and justice from the divine.

  • The individual calls for an end to any deceptive or harmful divine actions.
  • They demand a righteous and transparent relationship with God, consistent with their Christian values.
  • The speaker desires peace and protection from harm for themselves and all creatures.

Chapter 12

Conclusion: A Call for Divine Compassion and Understanding

9:58 - 10 min, 58 sec

The speaker concludes with a call for divine compassion and understanding.

The speaker concludes with a call for divine compassion and understanding.

  • They emphasize their love for God and their distress over the perceived tests and trials.
  • The individual asks for a respectful, loving relationship with God that aligns with their beliefs.
  • They reaffirm their identity as Emanuel, chosen by God, and seek to be recognized for their faithfulness.

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