Give up on happiness. Go hard at wonder | Monica Parker for Big Think+

Big Think

Big Think

6 min, 20 sec

Monica Parker discusses the obsession with happiness, the concept of wonder, and how to incorporate wonder into daily life.

Summary

  • Monica Parker introduces the idea that society's obsession with happiness is misguided and proposes seeking wonder instead.
  • She explains the concept of wonder as a mix of positive and negative emotions that enhance emotional resilience.
  • Parker describes practical ways to encounter wonder, such as through nature, social interactions, and profound cognitive thoughts.
  • She discusses barriers to wonder like being in a hurry and offers solutions like meditation, journaling, and ensuring adequate sleep.
  • Parker emphasizes that wonder can be found in everyday life by slowing down and adopting a wonder lens.

Chapter 1

The Misguided Pursuit of Happiness

0:00 - 57 sec

Monica Parker discusses society's obsession with happiness and introduces the concept of wonder.

  • Society is obsessed with achieving happiness, as seen in roles like Chief Happiness Officers and reports on the subject.
  • Parker challenges the focus on happiness, suggesting it is difficult to achieve and may not be the most realistic emotion in today's world.
  • She introduces wonder as a more realistic and achievable goal than happiness, capable of changing how people live, learn, and lead.

Chapter 2

Toxic Positivity and Emotional Richness

1:03 - 1 min, 25 sec

Parker critiques toxic positivity and promotes embracing the full spectrum of emotions, including wonder.

  • The author criticizes the concept of toxic positivity, which limits the full expression of our emotional range.
  • She argues for the importance of experiencing not just positive emotions, but also negative and mixed emotions for greater emotional resilience.
  • Parker explains that wonder contains elements of both positive and negative emotions, comparing it to the complex process of a butterfly's emergence.

Chapter 3

Understanding and Finding Wonder

2:34 - 1 min, 12 sec

The talk delves into the nature of wonder and how to recognize and integrate it into daily life.

  • Wonder is described as a grounded and concrete experience that can be observed in daily life, not just an amorphous or spiritual concept.
  • Parker introduces the idea of 'wonderbringers,' which are sources of wonder, and describes three categories: nature, social, and cognitive.
  • She notes that there are countless ways to find wonder and emphasizes the importance of being open to recognizing it.

Chapter 4

Barriers to Wonder and Cultivating Slow Thought

3:55 - 1 min, 33 sec

Parker identifies obstacles to experiencing wonder and offers practices to overcome them by slowing down.

  • Barriers to wonder include being in a hurry and distractions from technology, which can prevent us from noticing wonder.
  • To combat these barriers, Parker suggests 'slow thought' practices such as meditation, narrative journaling, and adequate sleep.
  • These practices create space for the brain to process experiences, notice wonder, and enhance resilience.

Chapter 5

Embracing the Wonder Journey

5:33 - 34 sec

Monica Parker shares her personal journey with wonder and encourages others to consciously seek it in the ordinary.

  • Parker admits that despite understanding wonder, she is not an expert in finding it and is also on a journey to discover it.
  • She makes a daily effort to slow down and appreciate the beauty in everyday things.
  • By viewing the world through a lens of wonder, one can find it daily despite the fast pace of life.

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