The story opens with Harry Potter and his friends in an absurd retelling of their adventures.

• Harry is accompanied by Hermione and Ginny.
• They exchange meaningful looks with Ron and ride bicycles to and from the Riddle's manor.

Professor Dumbledore displays a series of bizarre actions and statements.

• Dumbledore refers to his wand and Harry affectionately, then violently beats off one of his legs.
• He has a long silver beard with a strong smell of cats and refers to Bulgarian students as scumbags.

The Triwizard Tournament is introduced with humorous and surreal elements.

• Viktor Krum is described as slim and reliable with an anti-theft buzzer and a breakfast on his arm.
• Beauxbatons students are said to be unpopular and fixed in place with planks.
• Professor McGonagall yells about the tournament's commencement for an excessive time.

Voldemort and the Death Eaters are portrayed in a humorous and relaxed manner.

• Voldemort stands silently with homemade strawberry ice, with Death Eaters following suit.
• They are described as 'cool', with Wormtail expressing a longing for the same recognition.

The story ends with a darkly comic twist involving Cedric Diggory and the police.

• Cedric appears floating above and falls onto Professor Flitwick's table, dead.
• The police are called, resulting in Voldemort's disappointment, and Harry grins with steak in his mouth.