What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED
TED
15 min, 32 sec
A personal journey of overcoming fear of rejection by embracing it and turning it into an opportunity for personal growth and success.
Summary
- Jia Jiang shares his experience of facing rejection as a child during a classroom gift exchange, which instilled in him a fear of public rejection.
- Inspired by Bill Gates, he aspired to build a large company, but found himself paralyzed by fear of rejection in his professional life.
- He discovers 'Rejection Therapy' and embarks on a 100-day challenge to seek rejection, documenting his experiences and lessons learned.
- Jia learns to stay engaged after being rejected, finds ways to turn 'no' into 'yes', and fulfills his dream of teaching by simply asking.
- He now teaches others how to handle rejection, using his blog, talks, a book, and developing technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.
Chapter 1
![A classroom activity gone wrong leaves a lasting impact on Jia Jiang's perception of rejection.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTA4LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--fd2fe798a79112855852df32c884dfb5289f3b94/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_48.jpg)
A classroom activity gone wrong leaves a lasting impact on Jia Jiang's perception of rejection.
- At six years old, Jia Jiang's teacher sets up a gift exchange that required students to compliment each other to receive a gift.
- As names are called, Jia is among the last three children left without compliments, feeling publicly rejected.
- The teacher, realizing the mistake, allows the remaining children to take their gifts without compliments, suggesting better behavior might garner compliments next year.
![A classroom activity gone wrong leaves a lasting impact on Jia Jiang's perception of rejection.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTA4LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--fd2fe798a79112855852df32c884dfb5289f3b94/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_48.jpg)
Chapter 2
![Jia Jiang's ambition to conquer the world was inspired by Bill Gates, leading to a bold childhood proclamation.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTEwLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--7b0628161fa25bffa4db2e606bbfd8f5201a5520/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_145.jpg)
Jia Jiang's ambition to conquer the world was inspired by Bill Gates, leading to a bold childhood proclamation.
- At 14, Jia hears Bill Gates speak and becomes inspired to build the biggest company in the world that would eventually buy Microsoft.
- He writes a letter to his family laying out his goal, showcasing his determination and ambitions for global success.
![Jia Jiang's ambition to conquer the world was inspired by Bill Gates, leading to a bold childhood proclamation.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTEwLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--7b0628161fa25bffa4db2e606bbfd8f5201a5520/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_145.jpg)
Chapter 3
![Despite his early ambitions, Jia Jiang faces the reality of his unachieved dreams and stagnant career.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTEyLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--6aea765eff873ed2a2657f48682bece685ad91ec/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_207.jpg)
Despite his early ambitions, Jia Jiang faces the reality of his unachieved dreams and stagnant career.
- By age 30, Jia has not started his own company and is working as a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company, feeling stuck.
- He realizes that the fear of rejection, instilled from his childhood, is holding him back from pursuing new ideas and speaking up.
![Despite his early ambitions, Jia Jiang faces the reality of his unachieved dreams and stagnant career.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTEyLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--6aea765eff873ed2a2657f48682bece685ad91ec/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_207.jpg)
Chapter 4
![A rejected investment opportunity leads Jia to reconsider his approach to rejection and leadership.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTE0LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--d26262a171cb49d8dc9e0f956f62ccaebdc31734/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_266.jpg)
A rejected investment opportunity leads Jia to reconsider his approach to rejection and leadership.
- Facing rejection from an investment opportunity for his company, Jia contemplates quitting but realizes successful entrepreneurs don't give up easily.
- He decides to become a better leader and person, no longer allowing his childhood fear to control him.
![A rejected investment opportunity leads Jia to reconsider his approach to rejection and leadership.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTE0LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--d26262a171cb49d8dc9e0f956f62ccaebdc31734/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_266.jpg)
Chapter 5
![Jia Jiang discovers 'Rejection Therapy' and commits to a 100-day challenge to seek out rejection.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTE2LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--64b1c622639b16fda975c090f17e5b281c8dd274/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_325.jpg)
Jia Jiang discovers 'Rejection Therapy' and commits to a 100-day challenge to seek out rejection.
- In an attempt to overcome his fear of rejection, he finds rejectiontherapy.com and decides to record himself facing rejection for 100 days.
- The exercise involves seeking out rejection daily and desensitizing himself to the pain of being turned down.
![Jia Jiang discovers 'Rejection Therapy' and commits to a 100-day challenge to seek out rejection.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTE2LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--64b1c622639b16fda975c090f17e5b281c8dd274/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_325.jpg)
Chapter 6
![Jia's 100 days of Rejection Therapy leads to surprising discoveries and personal growth.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTE4LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--79beb5ee98f359b4cd7232d98ba15dcdce85e1f8/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_411.jpg)
Jia's 100 days of Rejection Therapy leads to surprising discoveries and personal growth.
- He learns that by not running away from rejection, he can engage and sometimes turn a 'no' into a 'yes'.
- Jia finds that asking 'why' when rejected often leads to understanding and sometimes an alternative opportunity.
- By acknowledging potential objections upfront, he gains trust and increases his chances of a positive outcome.
![Jia's 100 days of Rejection Therapy leads to surprising discoveries and personal growth.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTE4LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--79beb5ee98f359b4cd7232d98ba15dcdce85e1f8/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_411.jpg)
Chapter 7
![A request for Olympic ring doughnuts goes viral, bringing Jia unexpected fame and opportunities.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTIwLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--518c29cfde819e22e76585e0b8ea70bf9efb6c09/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_523.jpg)
A request for Olympic ring doughnuts goes viral, bringing Jia unexpected fame and opportunities.
- A Krispy Kreme employee's willingness to make doughnuts shaped like the Olympic rings, despite an unusual request, leads to a viral video.
- Jia gains fame and receives positive feedback from around the world, but he remains focused on learning and self-improvement.
![A request for Olympic ring doughnuts goes viral, bringing Jia unexpected fame and opportunities.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTIwLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--518c29cfde819e22e76585e0b8ea70bf9efb6c09/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_523.jpg)
Chapter 8
![Jia fulfills a lifelong dream of teaching by taking the initiative to ask for the opportunity.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTIyLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--37c149bb9a30f84b72aca39683d94c1292b43107/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_752.jpg)
Jia fulfills a lifelong dream of teaching by taking the initiative to ask for the opportunity.
- By simply asking, Jia manages to teach a college class at the University of Texas, fulfilling a dream inspired by his family's teaching background.
- He realizes that asking can lead to achieving dreams without the need for extensive accomplishments or qualifications.
![Jia fulfills a lifelong dream of teaching by taking the initiative to ask for the opportunity.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTIyLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--37c149bb9a30f84b72aca39683d94c1292b43107/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_752.jpg)
Chapter 9
![Jia concludes that embracing rejection can be transformative and a gift for personal and professional development.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTI0LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--55c4f65f3fd38a82c898df7d4775823639f1789b/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_881.jpg)
Jia concludes that embracing rejection can be transformative and a gift for personal and professional development.
- He reflects on historical figures who changed the world by embracing rejection instead of letting it define them.
- Jia shares how he has used his experience to teach others to transform rejection into opportunities, including through his blog, talks, a book, and technology.
![Jia concludes that embracing rejection can be transformative and a gift for personal and professional development.](https://www.videogist.co/rails/active_storage/representations/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTc0NTI0LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--55c4f65f3fd38a82c898df7d4775823639f1789b/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemVfdG9fbGltaXQiOls3MjAsbnVsbF19LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--c9426325207613fdd890ee7713353fad711030c7/10198_881.jpg)
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