Why I almost quit Youtube

Manny Ortiz

Manny Ortiz

11 min, 22 sec

The speaker details their personal challenges in 2023, including depression, anxiety, and insecurity in their creative work, and how they began to overcome these obstacles.

Summary

  • The speaker faced significant challenges in 2023 with depression, anxiety, and creative insecurity, considering a non-creative career.
  • They experienced paralysis in creating content and feared posting work that wasn't constantly better than the last.
  • Engagement with their YouTube channel declined, causing them to question their self-worth and ability.
  • The speaker began rebuilding confidence through self-work, motivation, and support from friends.
  • Plans for 2024 include creating an education-focused side business and rebranding to reduce reliance on sponsored content.

Chapter 1

Personal and Creative Struggles

0:00 - 30 sec

The speaker shares their personal and creative challenges in 2023.

The speaker shares their personal and creative challenges in 2023.

  • The year 2023 brought significant personal challenges including depression and anxiety.
  • The speaker contemplated returning to a non-creative 9-to-5 job after six years of full-time creative work.
  • They felt a deep insecurity about their creative output and experienced a paralyzing lack of motivation.

Chapter 2

Impact of Mental Health on Creativity

0:30 - 58 sec

Depression and performance anxiety significantly hindered the speaker's creative process.

Depression and performance anxiety significantly hindered the speaker's creative process.

  • Depression led to a complete paralysis for the speaker, making it hard to even move.
  • The speaker's ability to create content was deeply affected by their emotional state.
  • Despite years of experience, the speaker still struggled with speaking on camera, exacerbated by their mental health.

Chapter 3

Challenges with YouTube and Photography

1:28 - 2 min, 30 sec

The speaker discusses the decline in their YouTube channel's performance and self-confidence issues in photography.

The speaker discusses the decline in their YouTube channel's performance and self-confidence issues in photography.

  • The YouTube channel's performance decline affected the speaker's self-worth.
  • Obsession with constant improvement in photography led to a loss of self-confidence.
  • The speaker avoided posting on Instagram out of fear that their work was not improving.

Chapter 4

Battling Insecurity and the Fear of Stagnation

3:58 - 1 min, 52 sec

The speaker battles with insecurity in their work and the fear of not improving.

The speaker battles with insecurity in their work and the fear of not improving.

  • The speaker's confidence was so low that they felt insecure about any creative output.
  • Comparisons to physical training, the speaker felt they had plateaued in their creative growth.
  • The pressure of posting on Instagram led to a paralysis in sharing their work.

Chapter 5

Fighting Back and Rebuilding Confidence

5:51 - 3 min, 21 sec

The speaker takes steps to rebuild their confidence and regain motivation.

The speaker takes steps to rebuild their confidence and regain motivation.

  • Support from friends and self-reflection helped the speaker start overcoming their rut.
  • Motivational content on TikTok, specifically a quote about embracing hardship, provided perspective.
  • The discipline of going to the gym helped rebuild the speaker's self-confidence.

Chapter 6

Looking Forward to 2024

9:12 - 2 min, 7 sec

The speaker shares their optimism for 2024 and plans for a new business venture.

The speaker shares their optimism for 2024 and plans for a new business venture.

  • Jared Polin's support was instrumental in helping the speaker cope with their challenges.
  • The speaker plans to build an education-focused business outside of YouTube to offer additional content.
  • They are optimistic about rebranding and making changes in 2024.

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